strawberry swirl
by graven.abiogenesis
Summary: Lenalee has fallen in love four times in her life. Completed oneshot. lenaleexlavi


**Disclaimer: **Yeah, not mine. I wish it was, though. Maybe if I beg Hoshino-sensei every single day...?

* * *

_strawberry swirl._

Lenalee has fallen in love four times in her life.

.

First, she fell in love with her brother, her incredible, amazing, smart, strong brother who came and saved her, who turned her prison into a home and her wardens into family.

He always made her happy; he loved her, he loved her coffee, he colored with her in shades of pink to match her purple eyes, he taught her how to be human again.

She'd wanted to marry him, when she was little.

He brought her presents all the time and showed her how to live.

She loves him forever, but she's old enough now to know the difference between loving her brother and the love reserved for a lover.

.

Lenalee loved Kanda too, for a while.

Really, who could blame her?

He was beautiful, even if he was a little (a lot) lacking in the personality department. He had a raw, primal sort of attraction that held her attention, that drew her in, an intense stare and incredible ferocity suited to an apostle of God.

She was enraptured by him.

But after a while, she learned that no, he didn't like the chocolate-covered strawberries she constantly brought him; he hated sweets, but he ate them anyway, to please her.

She thought it was absolutely precious, but she wasn't stupid.

When she was twelve, she got over it, and she was Kanda's best friend and sister instead, because it was easier to love him like that.

And besides, she had known for a long time that he wasn't interested. He was looking for someone else to be his special person.

.

Allen was the worst, though.

Lenalee was absolutely and irrevocably in love with him.

He was the perfect gentleman, with impeccable manners and charm to go with his exotic good looks. His silver eyes were always smiling for her, warm and happy.

He cared about everyone else so much that it was impossible not to love him. He was perfect and strong, and he loved the sweets she brought him every now and then.

Allen was the one Lenalee went into town for and bought creamy pink lip gloss for, the one she brushed her hair an extra hundred strokes every morning for. He was the one that brought a rosy blush to her cheeks and always saved her from her enemies and her fears.

Allen was the one that made her heart beat faster and her breath catch, that made her laugh and marvel at the newfound beauty of the world.

He didn't think it was stupid that the Order was everything to her.

He thought it was noble of her, a good thing.

Lenalee cried because she was so in love with him, and he never even noticed.

She really thought she had a chance, but she was wrong again, and this time it hurt so _badly._

The day she accidentally saw Kanda kiss him in the forest, she felt her heart break into a million little pieces, and suddenly her sweet, sickly sweet strawberry lip gloss tasted bitter, her hair felt limp and lackluster, and the blush on her cheeks felt false and wrong.

When she saw him yelp in surprise but kiss Kanda back anyway, she knew she was doomed.

She was happy that Kanda had finally found that special someone he had searched so long and hard for despite his painful past, but...

_It just wasn't fair._

Why had _Kanda_ been the one to break through Allen's mask of false smiles and into his tormented heart when she hadn't been able to reach him no matter what she did?

She figured it had something to do with the way Kanda was. Kanda was, well, Kanda, and Kanda was about as subtle as a battering ram.

Maybe that was what Allen had needed to make him realize that he was worth it.

But she still sealed her heart away, and her smiles for Allen were now those reserved for an old friend and a new brother-in-law.

She stopped wearing her strawberry swirl lip gloss after that.

.

Lavi was _new._

He was fiery and energetic and gorgeous. He flirted constantly and made her feel beautiful.

Lavi was the one that prompted her to dig through her old things and find her old lip gloss and blush again, because this time...

This time, she knew he needed help. He was hurting too, but there wasn't anyone to help him realize that he was allowed to be a person.

So she would.

And unlike Allen, Lavi noticed.

So when he asked her about the makeup, she shuffled awkwardly and told him that she just wanted to look pretty for once.

He laughed and told her that she was beautiful, and she didn't need any stupid makeup, but if she wanted to wear it, then it was her choice.

Lenalee felt her heart start beating again.

She tossed out all her makeup that very day, but she kept the lip gloss, because it _was _special, after all, and she started to help him realize that he was just as human as the rest of them.

The night Lavi kissed her, the taste of strawberry was sweet again, and Lenalee knew she had fallen in love for the last time.

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_A/N: Hope you enjoyed that ficlet. I've been wanting to write a Lenalee-centric one for a while, but I didn't know how to go about it. Review me?_


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